First solo of my life. Thought my nerves were going to explode and then fray at the edges like a bad war movie. Even hearing the song now makes me want to die of thirst and terror for no real reason.
Did it go well?
…yes.
Am I eager to try that again?
Nonono.
But singing for an audience on my own makes me feel like I’m giving myself away, piece by piece. The little secret things I kept inside of me are being torn so gently that I cannot protest- I fear that someday I will become nothing but a bare room with worn floorboards from all that have stepped into it.
If these are not me, what is? If my voice is not who I am, what is?
And how do I keep it safe?
Free As A Bird - The Beatles
For you forever, John.
by Yoko Ono Lennon
I miss you, John.
27 years later, I still wish I could turn back the clock to the Summer of 1980.
I remember everything – sharing our morning coffee, walking in the park
together on a beautiful day, and seeing your hand stretched to mine -
holding it, reassuring me that I shouldn’t worry about anything because
our life was good.
I had no idea that life was about to teach me the toughest lesson of all.
I learned the intense pain of losing a loved one suddenly, without
warning, and without having the time for a final hug and the chance to
say, “I love you,” for the last time. The pain and shock of that sudden
loss is with me every moment of every day.
When I touched John’s side of our bed on the night of December 8th,
1980, I realized that it was still warm. That moment has haunted me for
the past 27 years – and will stay with me forever.
Even harder for me is watching what was taken away from our beautiful boy,
Sean.
He lives in silent anger over not having his Dad, whom he loved so much,
around to share his life with. I know we are not alone. Our pain is one
shared by many other families who are suffering as the victims of
senseless violence. This pain has to stop.
Let’s not waste the lives of those we have lost. Let’s, together, make
the world a place of love and joy and not a place of fear and anger.
This day of John’s passing has become more and more important for so
many people around the world as the day to remember his message of Peace
and Love and to do what each of us can to work on healing this planet we
cherish.
Let’s: Think Peace, Act Peace, and Spread Peace.
John worked for it all his life.
He said, “There’s no problems, only solutions.”
Remember, we are all together.
We can do it, we must.
I love you!
yoko
(via sarahallyza)
This makes me wistful for airplanes and sleepy, oblivious towns.
Last night, G called me in the middle of the dark to tell me she had seen the power lines fizzing like sparklers, cars cheating at what was supposed to be a four-way-stop.
Everything went dead- router, fridge rumbling, clocks- and the world froze in place as we lit scented tea lights and danced around precarious cables on cold hardwood boards.
I tried playing things, but the piano was a half-blur, and soon I was reduced to chording and singing but that wasn’t so bad, especially when my brother joined in.
And I thought of the harvest moon and you and a billion other things, guiltlessly glad that I wasn’t chained to my work any longer. I opened the window a crack and we let the breeze monster in, gave our music outwards like the warbling of fallen warrior angels.
When I went to sleep I leaned over the side of the bed and blew out the candle, fully melting into the lethargic backdrop of the world.
We need more blackouts.
“The Tetris God,” directed by me. Also written by Dan and Jeff, produced by Ben, shot by Vince, and edited by Matt. Digg it.
Dan and Jeff didn’t originally imagine an actual Tetris game taking place beside this video, but I was determined to make it work. For a week, the floor of my office was littered with drawings of Tetris games. My girlfriend said I looked like a nerdy John Nash.
This was so genius I just had to. Sam, you are… you are something else.
